Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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