worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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