Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it was like having sex with a tree stump
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My feet surprised me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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