tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it's not cheating when I paid for it
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
