Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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