whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
