Need sex. Gaining weight.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so let's talk penis.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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