I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
