She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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