Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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