Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
