Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
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It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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