people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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