I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
