remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
