I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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