# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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