i would punch a child for taco bell
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I party with great urgency now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
