I want to stick my p in your. b.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
MIDGETS
????
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
