respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
