Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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