honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
