i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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