I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
