I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
