yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
