I am puke
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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