Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
