this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think people are normalizing furries
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
