peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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