rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
