his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
how do flat chested girls get laid?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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