If that was your dad, he is hot
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
