dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
