come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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