Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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