I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
