So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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