i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
