dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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