So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
