i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
