The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?