who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
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When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
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If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.