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• (734): View more from Michigan

  What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?

  Fav 27 3724 1799

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• (760): View more from California

  The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

  Fav 11 1270 6850

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there

  Fav 7 3831 1259

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• (932): View more from

  The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change

  Fav 13 2416 1415

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder

  Fav 4 2677 1105

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table

  Fav 13 2499 1182

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now

  Fav 5 2295 894

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?

  Fav 3 1611 824

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• (954): View more from Florida

  damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian

  Fav 6 2703 928

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.

  Fav 16 2021 790

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• (509): View more from Washington

  He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

  Fav 7 1850 858

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.

  Fav 2 635 511

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• (739): View more from

  IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING

  Fav 4 513 275

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread

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• (646): View more from New York

  I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE

  (646): View more from New York

  HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT

  (646): View more from New York

  GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT

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