your thong is hanging out like whoa
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
