the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
