it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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