my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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