Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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