I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
