The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
