Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!

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(810): View more from Michigan

I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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(916): View more from California

But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink

(815): View more from Illinois

I care about my drink far more than her feelings

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(647): View more from Ontario

All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.

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