Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
