He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
