i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
