but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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