i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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