we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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