How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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