her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
