you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I believe in your delicious
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
