is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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